Wanting to be Needed
by minimerc
Summary: I wanted to feel needed. I needed to feel wanted. I did not wish to be a burden to anyone, only to help.' Koushiro reflects.


Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, Koushiro, or anything. 

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Wanting to be Needed

"Honey, maybe we should tell him." my mother spoke, guilt filling her voice. 

"Maybe when he's older. Right now he's too young to understand." my father tried to comfort her. Who was this him?

"But honey, I have this feeling that Koushiro already knows that he's adopted." she said. My eyes widened as I backed away from the door. I could already feel the tears as they threatened to fall. 

'I'm adopted?'

*****

"Taichi let me fight with you!" I shouted over to the goggled headed boy in front of me.

"No. You two stay back. War Greymon can handle this." he replied, moving closer and closer to the battlefield.

Moments later, War Greymon is tossed to the ground again by Piedmon. My hands clench into fists as my anger rises. "Taichi, War Greymon cannot handle Piedmon on his own. Tentomon, get ready to-"

"No! Koushiro, stay out of this. Tentomon would stand no chance even if he fully digivolved."

"Well I cannot just stand here and watch as Piedmon massacres War Greymon!" I was angry. 

"Taichi, please. You can't do this on your own." Hikari said, a frown on her face.

"I know that. That's why I sent Sora and Takeru to get Yamato." he stated with his back turned to us.

"But what about us? We want to fight!"

"I said no." he said forcefully before his tone softened, "War Greymon can handle this, no problem. You'll see………"

**** 

"Jyou, come on." I said as I climbed onto the trapeze swing. Piedmon was chasing us within his little fun house. I was far from being amused. 

"No Koushiro, there's no time." the older boy of responsibility told me. My eyes widened. "Now go." He pushed me as Piedmon appeared in the room. 

"Jyou!" I felt tears in my eyes as I shouted his name. Piedmon's white cloth fell over him and he was no longer a human. He was a key chain. Before I could reach the second trapeze, the white cloth covered me and I fell into an unconscious abyss. 

****

I rolled over onto my stomach, releasing a sigh. Taichi was snoring loudly to my far right while Yamato was breathing softly to my left. We were here as a cover for the younger digidestined stayed in the Digital World for the weekend. I, of course, was only called to come along on this expedition because Jyou was not able to attend and my friends needed a responsible child to go with them. 

Those memories again. I hated them with a passion. 'Why? Why was I always treated like a fragile little child? Why didn't my parents tell me the truth before I found out on my own? Did they believe that keeping something like that from me would not cause problems?'

My eyes shifted to where Taichi's sleeping body lay. 'Why wouldn't you let me fight? I may be intelligent but that did not mean that I was inadequate in battle. I want to protect everyone as well, but why wouldn't you let me, Taichi.' 

'And Jyou. Why did you have to try to save me from Piedmon? In the end, the way I was turned into a key chain was a disgrace. I was captured running away like the pusillanimous lion from the Wizard of Oz. I wanted to stand and fight by your side but you did not let me.' 

I wanted to feel needed. I needed to feel wanted. I did not wish to be a burden to anyone, only to help. Just like Takeru, but different. Takeru was given a chance to show his worth while I was denied. I was told to stand back while Taichi and War Greymon fought Piedmon. I was told to run as Jyou stayed behind to face Piedmon. I was supposedly too young for my parents to tell me the truth about my origins. 

To everyone else, I am incompetent except for my superior knowledge, but knowledge is not everything. I wish to be strong in mind as well as in body and spirit. I want to protect and not be protected. I do not wish to be coddled because I am young nor do I wish to be ignored. I want to be told the truth. I want to fight. I want to stand my ground. If I cannot achieve such things than what kind of man am I? More importantly, what kind of human being would I be?

To be wanted and needed is only human nature. We all want to feel significant. We all want recognition. I am being denied that recognition. I tired to bite back the tears that threatened to fall as I found my hands clenched into fists in front of me. 

Yamato stirred, breaking my train of thought. Although unconscious, I am grateful to him. If I had not been disturbed, I would have surely broken down. It does not seem fair that I am patronized for being younger while Hikari, Takeru and most of the new digidestined were not. Even during our days as the original digidestined, I was placed on a lower scale than everybody, including Mimi even though we were in the same class. 

I curse myself silently. I should not be thinking this way about the people I call my best friends. It is not fair to them. They cannot defend themselves this way. Another sigh escapes me. I am the chosen child of knowledge, not the child of friendship or courage. I do have some significance, even if my friends unconsciously crush it for a majority of the time. I just want to be needed. It may sound selfish, but I do not care. That wanting saved me and my curiosity from Vademon. It was Tentomon's wanting that brought me back. And for that I thank him. I just wish that the others would recognize me for all of my traits, not just for my dominate one. 

My eyes droop as I feel slumber numbing my senses. The world of the unconscious tugged me into their void as I fell into a dreamless sleep. But before I passed into an unconscious state, I thought, 'Maybe they are right, maybe I do think too much on things………' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, okay, I know whoever just read that is wondering what the heck brought this on. Well after seeing the last first season episodes again about two weeks ago and listening to Linkin Park and Evanescence, I decided that Kou-chan never did get to fight like he wanted. Taichi wouldn't let him help out in the fight and I thought that wasn't right. Then the Jyou incident happened. I hated the fact that Kou-chan was transformed into a key chain while being forced to run away instead of trying to stand his ground like the rest of the DD did. Well I'll be going now. Reviews are nice. Ja ne

~minimerc


End file.
